Together
by Ajroe
Summary: After 3x07 Jay didn't want to talk to anyone, but Erin was smart enough to know he needed to.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! I wrote this after 3x07 and all of the amazing acting from everyone. I really wanted a scene between Jay and Erin though, so I wrote it. I hope you all like it and review!

Disclaimer: I clearly own nothing.

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Jay sat alone at Molly's sipping away at only his second beer of the night. The rest of his typical group was over by the bar but they knew he wanted to be alone so with minimal interruptions they left him alone. After he had gotten off work he had gone over to Ethan's, to help in what had become the hardest conversation any of them had had in their lives. Ethan's mom didn't press for many details, at least at the time, but the conversation was just as painful, especially for Ethan. He knew that Ethan wasn't just going to be a case for him, and he didn't want it to be. Jay wanted to be a positive influence in his life, especially because of how hard it was going to get.

After finishing all of the paperwork Erin went to Molly's, needing more than a few beers. Anything with kids was always difficult to deal with, especially when it was a bad as what had happened to Ethan and Collin. When she walked in she scanned the bar; the second she laid her eyes on him she knew Jay needed a friend, so she walked over to him.

"Hey Halstead." She sat down, trying to make it clear she wasn't leaving.

"Hey Erin thanks for checking in-" Jay couldn't even get a sentence in.

"Sorry. Not leaving." Erin wanted to be there for him but she knew she would have a hard time convincing him he needed it, at least at first.

"Just a hard case. I'm fine." Jay didn't want to make eye contact with her fearing she'd see right through him.

"That's a lie and you don't have to be ok right now." When Jay finally looked up at her she could feel the pain in his eyes. She reached out and put her hand in his. "Do you want to go back to my place?"

Jay could only nod so remaining hand in hand he and Erin left. Together.

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As Erin was unlocking her door she knew things were about to get 10 times harder but she knew things were already there for Jay and she wanted to be there with him and for him. They both stayed quiet as they entered and sat down on the couch. "Do you want anything to drink?" She broke the silence.

"I'm good thanks." Jay was back to not making eye contact.

"You were really good with Ethan." Erin knew Jay wouldn't approach the topic on his own. Jay just shrugged in response. "Hey, don't doubt yourself here, you were incredible. You changed his life- for the better. I promise." She drew his chin so he was looking at her while with the other she began to rub up and down his arm. "You are allowed to be upset. I know it doesn't always feel like it but you are. Especially with me. I will always be here for you just like you've been for me. If you want to talk I want to listen." Both of their eyes watered slightly as she spoke.

"His mom was heartbroken." Erin knew that Jay had told Ethan that he would help talk with her. Jay pulled back trying to gain some composure.

"I bet." Erin nodded grimly and was hoping he kept talking because she genuinely had no idea what else to say.

"They both have my phone number so I hope they call or text." Jay was back to not making eye contact. "I want to stay in Ethan's life. I want to try to help."

"You are helping so much already Jay. More than either one of us probably know." Erin hoped that he at least saw a little bit of what she was saying.

"I just really want him to have someone. You know?" Erin sensed that they were getting closer to the core issue, Jay wasn't only talking about Ethan. "I need him to think that things will be ok." Jay really didn't want to talk about any of this. He had never had it brought up so vividly before by anyone and it scared him.

"Jay you are doing so well with him. You did so well in conversations with him at the station. You can stay in his life. You are making a difference and you can keep doing it. You can and you will stay in his life. You will be his someone. You can show him that things will be ok. You have a whole squad that will help you and him whenever. Day or night. I can promise you that. Talk to me Jay. I'm right here for you, always." Erin pleaded with him to hear her. She knew he needed to hear her. She pulled him into her embrace but didn't push him to make eye contact with her. "Let me be here for you like you've been for me."

"I know that nothing I can do will make it go away." Jay paused for a second. "But I want to make it easier to deal with."

"Jay when you told Voight you used to be Ethan what did you mean?" Erin didn't want to ask but she knew she had to.

"Exactly that." Jay swallowed hard before continuing. "I was a great student before I joined the basketball team. No one put it together. Why all of the sudden I changed so drastically, I didn't know what else to do, how else to cope. But I couldn't tell anyone. I was so scared." Jay tried as hard as he could but he couldn't stop a few tears from slipping. "I felt like I was falling apart."

Erin could feel her heart ripping at the seams as she pulled Jay in closer and started rubbing his back, still unable to see his face. "I'm so sorry Jay. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that happened to you." Jay drew some comfort from the familiarity of her voice. "What are you thinking right now? You can talk to me. That is always ok."

"You're the second person I've ever told. Will knows and I only told him a couple years after it had finished." Erin didn't know her heart could break any further as Jay kept talking. "I'm so happy that Ethan has people. Even if it was a bit too late he has people now and that's all I can do."

"Hey. You have people now too, Will and I are your people. Everyone in the squad room will put their life on the line for you, they are your people." Erin wasn't sure she was making any progress in convincing him of anything but she had to try.

"Thank you." Jay's words weren't coming to him. He had too many thoughts and feelings he couldn't seem to vocalize.

"Always." Erin smiled as Jay seemed to calm down. "What can I do?" Jay was finally able to look up at Erin.

"Does this change anything between us?" Jay was genuinely scared for her answer. He wasn't really sure what a romantic partner would think of it, he knew his brother was alright with it.

"No way. Never. It only makes me prouder of you. That is it. I promise you." Erin was struggling to keep it together at this point.

"Thank you." Jay didn't know what else to say.

"I always want to be here for you Jay. No matter what. Through thick and thin I'm there for you." Erin felt relieved Jay was finally looking at her and she could read his face again.

Jay yawned, it finally hit him how tired he was. He needed to swallow his pride on this one. "Can I stay here tonight?" He couldn't leave so upset and hoped she realized that.

"Of course. You look exhausted. Let's go to bed and we can talk more tomorrow if you want to." Erin, with his hand in hers, stood up and led him to the bedroom to get some well deserved sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! So I was planning for the first chapter just to be a one-shot but after writing this idea didn't stop bothering me and for whatever reason I tried to fight it at first (hence the major delay in an update). But I clearly ended up writing a prologue to the first chapter in which Jay tells Will what happened to him. I hope everyone likes it.

Disclaimer: Still don't own anything!

Jay was pretty excited to visit Will at school, he just appreciated a weekend at home parents of course but he hadn't seen his brother and wanted to talk face to face. Med School had been hard on his brother but they always set aside the same weekend every year for just brother time.

As soon as he got out of the car to see his brother he couldn't help the smile that burst on to his face as they both went in for a hug.

"Hey bro." Will smiled upon seeing his brother.

"Hey bro." Jay echoed back at him.

The brothers quickly were able to convince their parents to leave to give them some time alone. Will showed Jay around where he had been living first. Then the two went out for some lunch and met up with some of Will's friends, all of which liked Jay a lot.

Throughout the day though Will picked up on something. He couldn't put his finger on it. He could tell something was off about his brother, he was quieter and almost jumpy. But Jay didn't say anything so Will didn't either when he was in front of his friends.

But once they got back to his apartment and Jay still wasn't himself Will had to ask. "Jay what's going on?"

"Nothing I'm good." Jay tried to blow his brother off but Will didn't buy it for a second. He reached over to put a hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Hey. I'm your brother, you can tell me anything in confidence. You don't have to be the tough guy." Will felt his heart breaking and his brother hadn't even told him anything yet. "I want to help."

"It's over now. Nothing you can do." Jay told his brother as little as he thought he could get away with.

"You pretty clearly need a listening ear. I'm right here. What's over Jay? Let me help." Will was practically pleading with his brother.

"I can handle it I promise." Jay wasn't sure what his brother would do if he told him, but he knew Will wouldn't stop without some information. "Just something happened recently that brought up some memories. That's all."

"How long ago are these memories from?" Will knew he wasn't going to be able to go straight to the memories.

"Couple years."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Will finally put it together that his brother had been through something traumatic.

Jay shrugged. "Guess I just didn't." He knew they were getting closer to the truth and he wanted to hold it off as long as possible.

"Jay. I am right here for you. I'm always going to be here. I know physically I haven't been able to be there for you but I'm only a call and an hour away. I promise."

"You remember my old basketball coach?" Breathing was becoming much more of a manual task for Jay. He reminded himself that it was Will he was talking to.

"Yeah of course." Will felt a sense of relief but also dread as he knew they were getting closer to the truth.

"He died a couple of weeks ago." Jay started with the recent stuff because it was easier.

Will felt like sorry wasn't the right word. "That's really too bad." He knew what he came up with wasn't much better but he knew he had to say something to keep his brother talking.

"I'm not so sure." Jay couldn't bear the thought of looking up at his brother.

"Jay what did he do to you?" Will tried to push, unsure as to what would happen.

"Stuff he really shouldn't have done." Jay tried not to lose his battle with his tears but his voice cracked when he spoke.

Will's heart cracked further with Jay's voice. He put his arm on his brother's back in a feeble attempt to offer some reassurance. "Like sexual stuff?" He almost didn't want to ask.

Jay just nodded in response.

Will didn't push on specifics. "I'm so sorry I didn't figure it out. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you then. Was anyone?" He again didn't want to ask but he knew he needed the answer.

"I've never told a soul." Jay couldn't help but keep trying to fight his tears.

"Thank you for telling me now. For trusting me." Will knew he couldn't let his little brother regret this. He had been holding this in for far longer than he should have.

"Thank you for being here." Jay choked out his words and it felt like the damn inside him was finally breaking. He barely registered Will pulling him onto his lap as he cried all of the tears he never could before.

Will fought to keep his tears at bay, knowing the time for his would come later. "I'm right here. You're safe. He won't hurt anyone ever again. Let all of it out." Will started a mantra as he rocked his brother like he was five years old again.

The second Jay gained some of his composure he realized what position he was in and quickly scrambled out of it, wiping his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Will maintained the contact with him though with a comforting hand on his knee. "Hey Jay. You don't need to apologize for what he did to you. Alright? This isn't your fault. I want to be here for you no matter what you need from me."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Jay really didn't want his voice to get as small as it did.

"Don't be sorry for anything. You were not the one in control. He scares you. You're allowed to be scared. But it is ok now. I want you to feel safe with me emotionally too. You can tell me everything or nothing else. I will still be right here with you, I wouldn't be anywhere else. You don't need to do this by yourself anymore." Will could only hope he was getting through to him.

"But," Jay paused. Momentarily unsure that he wanted to say what he planned to. "I feel so weak and stupid. It just kept going and I didn't stop it." Jay felt tears start to come down his face again.

"It wasn't on you to stop it. That was on him. I know I don't know the details but I know you did the best you possibly could." Will tried to say the right things.

"I'm just so tired." Jay tried to let some of the tension out of his body as he let Will pull him into another hug.

"I know Jay. I can only imagine." Will tried not to let himself imagine how tired his brother truly was.

"This doesn't change anything does it? Like between us." Jay pulled out of the hug as soon as the question came to his head.

"Of course not. I think of you the exact same as I did an hour ago. If anything I'm grateful that you trust me this much. I'm honored. I love you so much and I want to be there through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I promise." Will tilted Jay's chin up, prompting him to make eye contact as he listened.

Will finally saw the last tension leave his brother's body. "Thank you." Jay couldn't say anything else.

"Anytime. You look like you are in desperate need of some sleep. Am I right?" Will let himself smile.

"Always." Jay laid down on the couch that he knew was his bed at Will's. "Is it…" Jay really didn't want to ask and found he couldn't as he trailed off.

"I'll sleep out here with you tonight." Will wasn't sure what the repressed memories would do to his brother as he slept.

"Thank you." Jay felt as calm as he had since he heard the news as he shut his eyes in attempt to get some rest.


End file.
